ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize