Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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