no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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