he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
