No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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