A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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