That's intense
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
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does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
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also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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