i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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