mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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