dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
