In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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