I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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