I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
