hotel room ftw
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
