sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize