**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
