Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
