I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
