oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
