Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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