She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
