He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
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If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
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We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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