so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
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If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
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Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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