I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
