You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
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