is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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