so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
