she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
