I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
