I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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