i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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