You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
either way he was missing a nipple.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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