I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I could fuck to npr.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
