what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
