Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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