google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Panties = found
Randomize
