Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize