everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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