so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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