Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
