FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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