dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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