There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
