All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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