This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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