Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
