god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
