Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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