I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have fence marks all over my body
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
