i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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