they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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