Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Then you guys just all showered together...?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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