You're so nebulous sometimes
My underwear smells like fireworks.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Randomize
