White coat. Heels.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
