i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I pour the whiskey from now on
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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