singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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