ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
