I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
