cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
