First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
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I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
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So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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